WHEN WILL IT ALL STOP!!!!!!!!!!

another night with my head in my hands.
yet again i am Rocked by the happinings of this thing called life. why? why? is the only thing i want to ask of anything. why do things happen this way. why do things have to keep happinin this way. WHY??
and when will it all be over? with each day i learn something new, today was a big lesson. i just want to say that from this day forward i will try my best to be a nice and loving person. and trreat everyone well cause you never know what this crule world will throw at you next. im so full of sadness that i think that i might bust. was it my fault? am i a bad person? what could i have done? do you all not realize how much i love each and everyone of you. cause i do. i love you all. maybe we dont say that enough. maybe thats all we need? all i can think is that no matter how bad i feel i will never do something so painfull and so hurtfull. cause i will think of all of you first, and foremost. i am soooo afarid of whats next that i cant breath. cause i dont know now much more i can take. im so tired of being a mess and i have become so used to this shit that it kills me. im sad, im mad, im scared and im sooo fucking confused.

i love you, you should have known that. now i dont know what to do?

live and love is what ill try for now.

and to any one who i have trashed on here im more sorry than you will ever know.

love
carolyn leanne mac dougall