I for some reason the other day thought of good old iwishiwascool.blogspot.com and i said to myself i am going to start to blog agian! Soooo here we go..............

wow I cant even beleive that the last time i was posting i was still in college, 2005 i guess. Now 4 years later, I feel like i am different, thank god! But there was something about that year that i started college and the winter i spent in banff, and the demise of Mike and Carolyn that seemed to start a sort of spirtural or personal journey that has made me into the person i am today. I started thinking differently or perhaps stoped thinking soo much that year. I started to life in the Now, sometimes too much in the now if that is possible. The past and the future dont have heavy influnce on me anymore and for that i am truly thankful. I do feel i am still that same old gal just happier, healthier... and maybe even just a little bit craizer! But crazy in a good way ;)

One thing is for sure i still cant spell or have any english skills, so bare with me would you?

mwahh!!
Care

what a muggy day! This has to be the worst hair day ever. The humidex is rediclous.

Well i faced my fate today, reguarding one of my computer classes, I had been avoiding rodney(my teacher) for days but today i found out that i barly passed it. and i didnt get a high enough mark to get me into my 2+2 university classes. FUCK eh. Its all my own fault. I am working way too much and i seem to have a searious case of the "fuck its" this year. And I HATE ACCESS. stupidest computer program. I am looking into taking it again, but god i dont want to. But it actually felt good to just deal with it. Dont worry i will figer out something. I will get a over 70 in that class somehow. Dame it though. AHHHH.

Well on a happier note i finially got my couch today from Shawnte. Thanks to Holly for helping me out with the van, and to jeffy and tyler who did the lifting. Woo it feels good to have a couch. YEA!! Oh and funness, Kory called me last night. We were plotting and sceeming our way to london and then to paris, rome, italy and of course amsterdame. Man what a time we would have. I guess the friends i have left in banff, talk about me just as much as i talk about them. It feels good to hear that. Man i miss them. Over all I had a very productive day. Lily and I did the funnyest project today, we compaired value village and le chateu. It was a roit. We had a video camera and everything, but they wouldnt let us tape so we had to sneek around and hide in dressing rooms. Man i always have fun with Lil. I totaly sucked ass today eating wise. Fucking KFC and then a god damn slice of Jacks Pizza. If that isnt a old carolyn eating day i dont know what is. Im totaly pissed off at my self so now i must go walk the board walk like twice. Now that it is dark it shouldnt be so hot. Well still stoked about James comming and all the Canada Day activities. I hope i see all my friends. Ok im out a here. Ive spent more time in this computer lap than anyware this week. But that is good.

Woo Walk then relax and study on my new Love seat. Life is damn good.

Care

ah what a long week this will be. I have soooo much work to do and sooo little time to do it. Plus i have my visitor comming. YEA I cant wait. And to top it all off im pretty much broke with rent time and all. Im not sure how i will drink for canada day and smoke for the next two weeks. I guess its quitting time again. Good enough. So my banff roomate kate will be in halifax soon so i will be getting over to see her. And i think my buddy Ian is comming over for a camping trip. And to see me in my sexy croc's that he loves sooo much. I feeling pretty overcome by all the action in my life but im keeping er as cool as possible. I seem to be getting closer to getting my shit from summerside, just a matter of time. And well i guess thats it. Im at school now and i actually have some time to hang out with sher and sare tonight. Yea. Oh and if anyone want to catch a good show come to The Guild on wendsday.

Two hours traffic rocked on Saturday. Cant wait to see them again on Canada Day.

Did you know that Canada is 139 this year. Anyone feel old when they think that Canada 125 was 14 YEARS AGO. Ok that is depressing.

Later Bitches

Care

Oh man Im sooo excited!!!

My friend James that i meet at the banff centre, who is from austrailla, is comming to pei to see me on the 30th. He is soo super nice and i cant beleive that he is actually comming. And for canada day too, that is the time that i told everyone to come to PEI, but i didnt think that anyone would actually come. Im soooooo stoked to show him this beautiful place. And it will be fun to have him here, he will be staying with me and Genine and Lily, which may be a little crowded. But i know that he wont mind.

So yea girls, a cute aussi with a acient will be hanging out with us for the big Canada Day weekend. This has put such a hop in my step!!! yea only 9 days till my first banff visitor comes!!!!

Care

Ah, I have been feeling great lately. Tracy and I have been walking the boardwalk at nights, and i enjoy playing ball again. School stuff is pileing up and starting to freak me out. I havn't seen much of my girls lately which makes me sad. I had a awsome time at my stepmom's wedding, it was totaly fun.

Ok Trac and I are going to grap a bite.

Later

Care

The truth will set you free. I made a decision when i was away that i was going to be as honest and truthfull as i possibly can to all my friends and family, some havent been reacting to it very well. I am just soo fucking sick of telling people what they want to hear and pussyfooting around every issue there is. My honesty has been viewed as just rudeness, but if you cant count on a friend to tell you the truth than you can remain in your stun mode for a nother million years. I have been dealing with some truth to my own life, I Carolyn MacDougall have a drinking problem!! I have grounded myself until july so dont even ask me to drink cause im not. Well im not allowed to get smashed, hammered or any of the popular phrases. I have faced the reality that i have been drunk for 10 months now and that is redilous!! It hasnt been a easy last week or so, i have been quite cranky, but im not surprized. I need to figer out a way to keep going with this new attitude and not end up back as i was befor, it is proving challanging because i still hang out with all the same people, but im not the same person. I had a close friend tell me that she didnt even know me when i came home, and well beciedes the wildness, which is not me, I feel like im not the same person. I dont want to be that girl anymore, I want to feel good, I want to be happy and above all I want to have a outstanding positive attitude. Im just not sure how to go about it without offending everyone. AHh well im not even sure what im saying anymore, now im just bitching and that is exactly what im talking about. What a vicious cycle. Well it is a beautifull day so i think im going to go put on my halter top and get some sun.

Care

" I'm not crazy, Im just not like you"
a new book im reading.

oh and i won the tim hortons timer today, on 720!!! So im off to get my free soups and sandwitches!!

Care