I think i've decided to not date boys who do drugs. It only makes sense right? I mean, i've had a mix of both (drug and non-drug boys) but the drug boys are always the ones who fuck up the most. Sarah -WHy'd you do that boy? Boy- Uh, the drugs. I'm fucked up.

Really, I can't imagine why you would be fucked up? Everyone has problems with their parents, school, work, life in general, but some people (not everyone) just smoke until their problems go away. I wonder why you can't keep a relationship going with anyone? Because you are a fucking idiot. At least boys who do drugs have nothing to blame it on but themselves. I'm sorry Sarah, I'm gay. Or i'm sorry Sarah, I'm joining the army. At least its not, I'm sorry Sarah I'm fucked up. Because I'm fucked up just means, i'm fucked up and as a way out of my damaging emotional problems i'll continue the same downward spiral i've been in for months. And people who disagree with it will be pushed aside. I'm not talking about anyone in particular here as you are probably all thinking. But a mixture of my bad experiances with guys who do drugs. Actually its all guys i have bad experiances with. Maybe I should turn gay and join the army?

Things are better.
I got a sample of shampoo and conditioner in the mail today. i love those. I have an empty house, and ample time for parties. And sure, milk reminds me of Jeff along with everything else but I have a decent friendship with everyone of my ex-boyfriends and i'm sure he won't be an exception. Time heals all wounds and big girls don't cry.
I'm tough as nails eh?

How did I go from Fuckable, Loveable, and beautiful on Tuesday to Dogmeat on Sunday?

Its funny how you can wake up one day, thinking of a certain person, and its puts a smile on your face. Then you wake up the next day and the first thing you think about is how you don't wanna think of that person. Its really hard not to. Now i realize that life goes on, I imagine i will find someone else very quickly. But right now I can't think past trying not to cry at work. More importantly trying not to throw up at work. I've had a sick stomach lately and when Niall brought me free pizza today I didn't get half-way through it without chucking it back up.
I'm like 5 minutes away from listening to Insensitive by Jann Arden.
I just don't get it. I really don't.
I think I need to go on a trip, by something expensive, or get something pierced

And by the way, If you don't like my melodramatic attitude, or my changed opinions, then you can fuck off. You can not read what I have to say. This post is half-decent...but it'll probably get worse.

'

I've never been broken up with before. This really proves what a weak person I really am. I thought I would handle it alot more gracefully. THere's really nothing worse than a broken heart. I really didn't see it coming. And I am so fucking angry. Well i'm trying to be angry because extreme sadness won't let me sleep. He was such a large part of my life. ANd now i'm supposed to just not think about him anymore with all this shit in my house, all his fucking pictures on my wall and his presents on my shelf. So sorry if i get in the way of your drug habit. Sorry if i worry about your dentist appointments. I'm sorry that you are so fucked up. Cause now i'm fucked up too.